this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023
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Clever Comebacks

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Posts of clever comebacks in response to someone.

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[–] [email protected] 61 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Why do Christians put up saturnalia trees? 😝😝

A fun tradition is a fun tradition.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Lol it's so deeply ingrained right in front of everyone's nose. Magic Santa, magic reindeer, magic elves and that's just the stuff before propaganda like Rudolph and Frosty came around.

God forbid I get a Harry Potter book on Christmas and being magical thinking into this mess.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Old St.Nic is only dressed in red cause of coca-cola, more a capitalist celebration than a Christian one at this point

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Well what do you know! Thanks for that.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Saturnalia trees are probably a myth.

The first references we have to Christmas trees are in 16th century Germany. They probably didn't come directly from any pagan traditions seeing as Germany had been Christian for multiple centuries at that point.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Fair…. Then why do Christian’s celebrate “Coca-Cola”? lol

Current Santa is from Coke lol

But honestly it was just funny, I don’t really care. Personally, I just like indoor trees

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

Oh damn!

Ultimately I don’t much care either way, but interesting facts nonetheless!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I’ll do you one better: Why is Easter a fertility celebration? None of the accounts of Jesus’ resurrection directly tie it to fertility. These became popular as Christians became exposed to cultures that had spring fertility festivals.

The religious celebration of Christmas includes Advent wreaths, church services, and traditionalist music (Joy to the World, Silent Night, etc.) Everything else is the secular celebration.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

It's what you get when you put at least half a dozen traditional festivities, customs and good old commercialisation and put them in the blender.

[–] [email protected] 53 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Both of those traditions are pagan anyway

[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

Like most things Christian

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[–] [email protected] 33 points 11 months ago (3 children)

I personally think it’s fantastic when, every Dec 25th, the world comes together to celebrate Isaac Newton’s birthday.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

I go a step further and respond to "merry Christmas" with "happy Newtonmas".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

when the sciencemas tree gets filled with presents by darwin claus

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Except that according to the Gregorian Calendar he was born January 4th, 1643.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Why do Christians? Jesus was born in the summer.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (2 children)

I'm french and I have always been told that our Gaullish ancestors had festivities going on at that date already and the roman empire made sure to destroy our culture and traditions by replacing our celebrations. They also built churches on the exact same spots as our previous cult places. Like, they even built a new city (Tours) from scratch to make Amboise become irrelevant. Christmas was part of the violence inflicted to our ancestors

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago

That's the only correct answer. Just use the existing celebration dates, and remove the old religion.

Why on earth doesn't modern Christians question the Eastern celebration, which follows the moon-calendar?

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (1 children)

We don't actually really know.

One idea is that Jesus's conception was said to have been in March for assorted reasons, and December is 9 months after March.

Another is that it appropriated Roman solstice celebrations.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

One of the main reasons to believe that the birth date of Jesus is not reliable is because we have historical records of when there were censuses, and they tended to not to be in the winter months for fairly obvious practical reasons. There is no record of one occurring in December or anywhere near that time around the supposed date of his birth, so how could Jesus have been born on the way to a census if there wasn't one in December?

The only option is that the date of the birth is out by about 10 years (there was a census in December 10 years earlier) or the month of his birth is out by about 6 months. Which of those two options we don't know but we definitely know he wasn't and couldn't be born at the date that the bible says. The reason people go for the summer birth hypothesis is it's easier to understand how the date could have been moved six months a lot less easy to understand how people could have thought he was 10 years younger than he actually was.

That's a pretty good reason.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago

The story of the census appears in the gospel of Luke, which was written around 100 CE and edited for a while afterwards.

It places Jesus' birth during the census of Quirinius, which happened in 6 CE.

That's flatly contradicted by the earlier gospel of Matthew, which has Jesus being born during the time of Herod the great who died in 1CE.

There's no historical evidence that Roman censuses required people to go to the town they were born in; it'd be such a big disruption that it seems fairly implausible. It's more likely that the story about the census was made up by early Christians who were trying to edit details of the story to make Jesus fulfill more prophecies.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago (3 children)

Does anyone actually celebrate Valentines day without a lover? Seems like the logic doesn't work

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

Yeah this is ahitty comeback

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"nobody loves you" doesn't mean not having a lover (or fuckbuddy).

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Used to go to giant valentines day parties

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

You mean those where people are supposed to meet and find a partner?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago (1 children)

One thing that isn't in the Bible? Christmas.

[–] funkless_eck 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Christmas trees are though - and specifically forbidden

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] funkless_eck 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I am (s)lightly joking. I'm referring to this passage which does seem to describe Christmas trees. Although if you're actually doing a deep theological study you can make a good argument for how it's referring to a specific form of idolatry — but it is amusingly close!

Jeremiah 10 NIV

1 Hear what the LORD says to you, O house of Israel. 2 This is what the LORD says: “Do not learn the ways of the nations or be terrified by signs in the sky, though the nations are terrified by them. 3 For the customs of the peoples are worthless; they cut a tree out of the forest, and a craftsman shapes it with his chisel. 4 They adorn it with silver and gold; they fasten it with hammer and nails so it will not totter.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Well there you go. God is against Christmas trees!

[–] [email protected] 18 points 11 months ago (4 children)

His question has a logic in his mind. Religious holiday, non-religious folk, what gives?

Of course the logic breaks down at the tiniest amount of scrutiny, but that would be beyond the capacity of Kevin's little head.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Just celebrating Yule or the Winter Solstice.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Saturnalia!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

I get paid time off from work during christmas (or jul, as we call it here). I will celebrate anything that gives me paid time off

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 11 months ago

Because Christmas is as much about Christianity as my rear end. It's a nice festivity that comes from old customs, and nobody has a problem with keeping the nicer parts of culture and customs while filtering out the crappy parts.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Between the stroke-induced brain damage and the religion-induced brain damage, Sorbo is pretty much at the point where we should wrap him, put in a bow and throw him in the nearest dumpster.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

I'd miss the clever replies he attracts, though.

[–] fsxylo 6 points 11 months ago

Because parties are fun dumbass.

[–] LetterboxPancake 3 points 11 months ago

I didn't need the reminder but I like it and I love the burn. What an idiot.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Oh, please show me where in the Bible we can read about anything about Christmas!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 4 months ago

please don't embarrass Kevin Sorbo. Lucy Lawless has done it enough times.

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