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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/Kozchey on 2023-12-06 16:42:52+00:00.
I screwed a few times with my at first success against alcohol (beer) addiction; I also keep screwing with procrastination with work-related matters I need to sit down and learn- If I get fired this will bring me so much down, but in the same time I am super reluctant to sit down and learn the stuff I am supposed to, because I already have a lot to go through in little time AND I am afraid of it. It is ridiculous and it s driving me nuts, I keep avoiding facing it and it gets worse and bigger, just like snowballs.
Honestly, I feel like shit at the moment. Nothing brings me joy or self-respect, I have lost all faith in me - the fact that I screwed so many times screams I will always be like that.
And, typical for me, I always imagine how far and better others are, and also I do know what I could have been and I see I am a mere shadow of it... and I am 34 lol I know it sounds silly, but I feel like I am now too old to ever be someone else, if I never changed for better all these years...
Look, I have had my accomplishments through the years, but no real ne accomplishments after I landed this job 2 years ago - what I mainly did these two years was fool around, drink and work out, the latter was the only thing I was doing that was worth it.