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The original was posted on /r/getmotivated by /u/ImHereMe on 2023-12-06 02:17:27+00:00.
I feel very lost and still confused about what I want for myself and out of life in general. My biggest thing is I can’t decide on a career path, so my life feels like it lacks purpose. I remember being young and wanting to be an artist (a painter specifically) when I was in elementary school. I met my adoptive mother in 5th grade, and felt so inspired by her, that then I wanted to become a teacher. As I got into high school, I solidified that I wanted to be an English teacher, and right towards the end of high school, an English professor (since they made more and I didn’t have to focus on the discipline aspect of things). Then, bam, my adoptive mom crushes my dreams and makes it clear she doesn’t support the career path I was so eager to pursue. I then tried telling myself I should be a doctor or engineer, thinking it would make her happy. It didn’t, she provided no encouragement no matter what it was, and just made me feel more horrible about myself, and to be honest, wasn’t really interested in those fields. I then settled, at the time, on psychology, since I seemed to be more practical and gave me that analytical aspect I enjoyed in English literature, and opportunity to connect and help others. But I felt torn as I entered into university (transferred from a community college) on which I should choose; English or psychology. I felt like I was missing out on a very core part of myself by not being an English. But, I also questioned if I was making the best use of my natural talents and helping people like I wanted if I didn’t pursue psychology. That was around the age of 20. I kept trying to go back to school, but would then withdraw everytime—this has happened probably 10 times now since completing my A.A. During that time I was debating between those two degrees. After encouragement from an ex I was with at the time, I started a channel on YouTube revolving around beauty content, but overtime I just felt overwhelmed with the idea I might not ever be successful at it, and never get a stable career with it. At times, what I was doing felt inauthentic to want I wanted to do (on social media and with my day job). During that times also entertained getting into IT, but I couldn’t handle stress of help desk, and never stayed consistent with programming either to explore that path in full. I’ve been out of that relationship for over a year now, and thought about becoming an RBT, as a bit of a foot-in-the-door to psychology, and also give me a chance to do more meaningful work, and bump back up to a higher pay-grade. But I’ve been procrastinating, and questioning if I would even be good at the job. At the moment, I’m working at a call center full-time for Medicare plan. I generally like the content I’m learning and think I would be good at it, but I’m only getting paid $14 an hour currently, while also working part-time at a fast food place (making $15.50 an hour).
I’m 27 now and feel more confused than ever. I feel lost and like a failure. I still only have my associates degree in general studies. I was recently laid off back in August from my admission’s administrative job that was paying me $22 and hour, and was going to quit my fast-food job since I was going to have lower rent and could afford to, but that unfortunately didn’t work out like I planned. Which is why I’m now still working 2 jobs, with very abysmal pay from what I was making before. I don’t know what to do anymore. Should I just complete the RBT certification and try out the job? Look for a higher paying administrative job? Should I just go back to school for psychology and work towards becoming a mental health therapist (as soon as I can afford it)? Or just focus on getting better pay and reducing my working hours to give me more time re-evaluate things? I also want to add that I just got out of another relationship about a week ago or so, that was very toxic and off-and-on for 8 months (this was different relationship from what I mentioned earlier). I felt like I lost myself a lot, and felt more sure of my next steps prior to the last time we got back together, but now I’m here again and want to heal, but also want to make more active steps towards a career, but I feel stuck. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.