this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2024
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[Outdated, please look at pinned post] Casual Conversation
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It's a photo i took of one of those big ass beams where boats "park" on a foggy but very blue early morning, during a time in my life i was leaving at night on little "suicide walks" with my camera.
It's not a very great or visual photograph, i put a teal filter over it as it's my wife's favorite color and photography sort of saved me while my wife saved me the first time i got lost in this suicidal rut.
Covid really screwed us over (it wasn't just covid, right before we tried to buy a house after years of saving with the help of friends we trusted but shouldn't have), no income, no house, no safety net...just a backpack and a fresh start during the worst possible time ever.
I got so lost in having no faith left that the job interview i did manage to land, i needed someone to pick me up halfway and take me there...i just collapsed and believed i wouldn't get out of this hole. I never got that job but being at the bottom of the pit only leaves you with one direction to go: up.
And up we went...eventually, very slowly.
I'm not sharing the image as it's mine and mine alone, it's my pain, my struggle, my lesson and my strength.
I might actually have it printed and on my wall someday.