this post was submitted on 01 Mar 2024

868 points (98.7% liked)

Not The Onion

12426 readers

76 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

Links to news stories from...
...credible sources, with...
...their original headlines, that...
...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

868

Fox News guest decrying “migrant crime” previously arrested after getting violent over a grilled cheese sandwich he deemed too cheesy (www.mediamatters.org)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

77 comments fedilink hide all child comments

...

A man wanted just two slices of cheese on his sandwich, so when his wife used three slices in his grilled cheese sandwich, he became irate.

Angered at the sight of all the extra cheesiness, James DePaola became agitated and violent, yelling at the woman, Michele DePaola. According to WSB-TV, DePaola then ripped the landline out of the wall so his wife couldn’t call the police and reportedly screamed at her intensely. The couple’s 12-year old daughter who witnessed the incident called the police to the scene, according to Athens-Clarke County police.

James DePaola was charged with obstruction of a 911 call and criminal trespass/damage to property over what the police now refer to as “the grilled cheese incident”. DePaola has a history of “abusive behavior,” and was often “excessively critical and controlling of day to day things in life” like sandwiches, apparently.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] [email protected] 165 points 9 months ago (8 children)

This man is not a true American, as there is no such thing as a "too cheesey" grilled cheese.

[–] [email protected] 65 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Lotta people are saying he wasn't even born here. All I'm asking is if he IS a real American, why haven't we seen his birth certificate? Just asking questions here...

[–] [email protected] 40 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Tucker Carlson: "Many people are saying he isn't an actual American. If not, who is he? Is he a Russian spy? And if so would he like to come over to my home to discuss Putin's dreamy eyes and masculine physique? I am just asking questions here."

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (1 children)

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago (1 children)

We can't accept drum 'n' bass. We need jungle I'm afraid.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

I always preferred jungle, dnb has a nice head bopping groove but jungle is much more fun, of course doesn't always apply. I have no idea what the parent comment is about just wanted to add my opinion on some nice beats.

The ready or not dnb remix from the late 90s was the shit though.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

My comment was based on this video, which the pic of the botoxed Tucker Carlson reminded me of. I also prefer jungle to dnb - but I like big beat best of all.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago

Just asking questions here

JAQing off in public

[–] [email protected] 11 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Yes, with a nice bowl of tomato soup.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

Too much tomato soup of bowl /s

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago

I'm lactose intollerant and even I can confirm this.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

Sounds like a commie spy!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

What if the cheese is Brie?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Get that French shit outta here.

Unless you’re making your grilled cheese on brioche. Maybe some sliced pear. Or fig. Make that shit gourmet.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Not to mention the fact that most grilled cheese sandwiches use American cheese. This guy hates America!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

I disagree. I think almost are all too cheesy. I'm serious. This is why I don't really eat grilled cheese.

[+] [email protected] -10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (4 children)

The problem actually lies in the “cheese” slices. THEY AREN’T CHEESE .

I’d be pretty irate if I got served that stuff in a cafe.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

well, that's not entirely true, they aren't eclusively cheese

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago (1 children)

RedNile (or BlueNile?!) disagrees with you

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I mean they're not pure cheese but they definitely contain real cheese. As fun as it was watching Nile Blue mess around, the recipe to make fancy versions of American cheese with fancy cheese (that is practical to do at home) has been known for a long time.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

You are correct, it's "pasteurized processed cheese product," but for brevity most of us just call it cheese.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

One of the many things I do not miss from living in the US is the range of ersatz foods which have replaced the real thing in the popular market.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

I'm generally not a fan of the stuff, but one of the few places American "cheese" is good is a grilled cheese sandwich.

I'd still prefer a sharp cheddar myself, but American is acceptable.