Ask Lemmy

For starters, I’ve always lived in major European cities, with good public transports but not necessarily in the city center. As soon as you can be financially independent ie have a work that allows you to pay rent, utilities, food and a little of saving, even if only 50€ a month. I left for uni, came back shortly after graduating as I interned for 6 months and then moved in with a friend. We could go out in the evening after work with our friend group and no one cared at what time I’d come home nor wait for me to ensure I’m safe because I’m a girl and the city can be dangerous depending who you encounter. I was a lot less awkward if I had one night stand in the morning with no hi mum and when I met my now husband and brought him to our shared flat and my roommate had his girlfriend at the same time, it all went great.

My husband left for his studies cross country at 18 yet his mum made everything for him back home: laundry, cooking, cleaning. After he moved and until we met and we bought our first house, he ate pasta ham and rillettes with cakes every single day. Had his grandma who lived 30km away do his weekly laundry. It’s good he’s excellent at house reno as to this day he’s shit at house upkeep. Can’t put a plate in the dish washer, clean the bathrooms or remember his or his children’ bedsheets need to be washed. Do not be my husband. It’s not when you leave that matters but rather be a competent grown up.

I love my parents but couldn’t imagine living with them full time, not paying rent to them and not try to be independent as much as I could. If I had to live with my mother in law, you could find the bitch’s body buried in the back of the garden next to the Japanese apple tree.