this post was submitted on 25 Feb 2024
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Rant
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I'm really sorry that you're in that situation. Being an activist on top of being in a country that is actively in a war is a really high-stress thing for anyone to deal with, even without adding romantic conflict and autism to the mix. I really do hope that you are able to access a counselor or therapist, despite as I think, based upon your writing, that you're dealing with a lot of things and someone that is formally trained might be able to help you to find some internal peace and build skills to improve your resilience.
Please do remember that no matter what you're going through, you're worthwhile as a human being. No one and nothing can take that away from you. We humans are complex and sometimes close still ends up not close enough in compatibility. Take care and give yourelf some time to heal.
Therapy is not much of an option here. The nearest city where real therapy centers exist is constantly being bombed. I don't own a car and I have a physical disability so getting a therapy in other cities is not an option either. Online therapy? Ain't no way I can sign up for that one. It requires "communication". I just have to live with it and watch everything around me building, standing and falling apart. And also do some crazy things when I feel especially bad. It's not like I have much of a personality anyways. But hey I can at least do something for real people and maybe make them happier. Not like it's going to make me happy though