this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2024
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One dollar for every point in a Do DonPachi run.
Hell, have them bring back the week-long after-show, just for stupid challenges you made up. $5000 for every game PJ can go out-of-bounds in, in twenty minutes. Four-person race to blindfold Ornstein & Smough. Mitch beating every NES SMB game while holding his breath underwater.
At some point just fly everyone out to the old Nickelodeon Guts course - which you've purchased and restored with approximately 0% of your fortune - to have these exuberant dorks compete on entirely different nostalgia-bait. You could probably split them evenly into Team Cishet and Team Queer. Well, okay. Team Queer might need to spot them a few bisexuals, to keep team size balanced.