No Stupid Questions
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I use the term "queer" to describe myself because my sexual identity (which is something like bisexual or pansexual) and my neurodivergence have made me something of a cultural outcast throughout most of my life. I don't really "fit in" with most people, and "queer" describes that experience pretty succinctly.
To the person you are responding to, I am cautious about using this word too broadly because some people have specific trauma around this word. Bigots often wield the word like a weapon, so people who are subjected to that and don't have adequate supports to deal with that trauma can get offended by it. I don't think we should so flippantly dismiss that. It works for me. It doesn't work for others.
I think there's something to be said for not self-censoring due to the potential of someone's personal trauma. Respectfully, some random person's issues are not my problem and should not affect my ability to identify myself or others, as long as I'm not doing so in a mean spirited way. If words cause you mental issues, you should work on that with a therapist. I will not coddle you.