this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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As the title states really. I need to refer to this diverse group of people, who somehow have gotten put in the same box labeled "sexual minorites".

I'm a boring CISHET vanilla white male, so I don't really know. I want to include as many as I can when I refer to "lgbtq+ people". I've been studying various flags, trying to find the one flag I need. But I can't really figure it out.

Is lgbtq+ the preferred term, or what should I use? Is a flag better? I don't want to hurt someone by not including them.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

“respect my trans homies, or I’ll identify as a fucking problem”

LOL I LOVE this!! Maybe you could change it to “respect my trans homies, or I’ll identify as a ducking problem” or "pucking froblem".

As a 70 year old lesbian, one thing I've long believed and believe now more than ever is that the most radical thing anyone in the queer community has ever done is simply come out in their daily life. Then live their life as an out person, whatever they are out as, and to the greatest extent possible. So to you, thank you for coming out as an ally, and I hope you do so loudly and daily. It can take courage.

Queer is a great umbrella term, but it still originates fairly recently as a hated slur, which suggests queer people have more right to use it than not-so-queers. Thirty five years ago I was friends with a lesbian couple in their 60s who HATED the term dyke, and were highly perturbed when I joyfully embraced being a dyke, because "dyke" had been such a horrible slur when they were young. But now my generation was reclaiming the term.

[–] BigDanishGuy 1 points 9 months ago

First off, thank you for chiming in. I feel that most of my IRL input has been from gen z, and I appreciate your input for both the diversity it brings, as well as the insights. That said, I will never ever be able to use the d-word, it feels almost as wrong as using racial slur.

"Queer" has been suggested a couple of times. But I feel like it's aggressive towards the wrong group.

How would you feel about the term "rainbow friends"?

So to you, thank you for coming out as an ally,

That made me feel weird. I'm not looking for thanks, I'm just trying to be true to myself and be a decent person towards my fellow people.

and I hope you do so loudly and daily.

Whenever I get the chance :-)

It can take courage.

It may have originally, but not 1% as much courage as the kids who have come out to me as trans when they saw an ally, or the courage you showed when you came out as lesbian. I'm a CISHET white man, I'm as safe as I can be. The kids OTH need a safe space to question themselves, and will do my best to provide that space for them.