this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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As the title states really. I need to refer to this diverse group of people, who somehow have gotten put in the same box labeled "sexual minorites".

I'm a boring CISHET vanilla white male, so I don't really know. I want to include as many as I can when I refer to "lgbtq+ people". I've been studying various flags, trying to find the one flag I need. But I can't really figure it out.

Is lgbtq+ the preferred term, or what should I use? Is a flag better? I don't want to hurt someone by not including them.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 9 months ago (1 children)

My two cents as a trans person: The Q (queer) is an umbrella term for everyone who didn't fall under L G B or T, so adding anything after that is just unnecessary and begging for right wingers to make a joke out of it.

So "LGBTQ" is safest, but most of the time I just say "LGBT" tbh

[–] BigDanishGuy 5 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I get where you're coming from, but what about the wide swath of people in this post, who are not covered by the term? Like aromantics and asexuals?

begging for right wingers to make a joke out of it

Who's to say I'm not kinda looking for it? Come at me, I'm angry, I sorta want a fight. I can hold my own in a debate, and if I can get you to expose your obsolete and inhumane views by attacking me, then YOU are the one who's outed.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 9 months ago (2 children)

aromantics and asexuals

They're covered by the term "queer" too because they're not heterosexual. And if anyone identifies as "agender" they'd be covered by the Q too, since they're not cisgender.

I'm angry, I sorta want a fight

I don't think we have anything to fight about lol

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

I don't want to fight either!

Speaking as an aromantic though, I am very heterosexual. I just don't enjoy all the lovey dovey squishy romantic things.. Holding hands is mostly ok, anything beyond that kinda grosses me out. (Kissing is so weird...) I very much enjoy most of the more intimate physical things though.

Many aromantics enjoy physical relationships, but don't understand the more romantic aspects of them.

[–] BigDanishGuy 5 points 9 months ago (3 children)

I'm not looking to fight anyone here. I'm sorry if I came across way. I want to stop my boomer coworkers from hurting LGTBQ people in our organization, and if that resolves in me debating my coworkers then that's a fight I'm not gonna back down from... #imactuallynotverybadassjustextremelytired

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I want to stop my boomer coworkers from hurting LGTBQ people

As a 70 year old lesbian, I'd like to suggest you might find some more allies in your organization, please don't assume all boomers are bigots. I have many grey haired allies. I doubt you're as alone as you think you are, but maybe you're just more "out" than they are. Give them the chance to come out and join you.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

Oooh I see what you meant now lol. But yeah, I feel you.

What's funny is that a lot of my coworkers would shit-talk trans people until they learned I was transitioning. Now all of the sudden they're more nuanced and understanding 🤔

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Do you call them boomers to their faces?

[–] BigDanishGuy 1 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Last time I did was today, but that was in a teasing funny setting, and to a person I hold a great deal of respect for.

I wouldn't in a discussion, I hate name calling, it's counter productive. But in my mind...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

But it exists in your head, right? Like you have mentally categorised an age of people as boomers, and you're associating a behaviour with that category?

The reason I say is that age is also a protected category...

[–] BigDanishGuy 1 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Hmm I guess you're right... I hadn't thought of it that way before.

I think I describe the behavior more than the age group, but I still see what you're saying. Thanks for call me out on it.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

I'm aro/ace and I don't really say anything more than LGBT or LGBT+ myself. I'm not really a fan of the whole alphabet soup acronym, it doesn't make conversation any easier. I don't speak for everyone though, some people clearly like the name including everyone. Personally I tend to even omit the + or Q after the first time of saying because otherwise it's still a mouthful.