Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
- Please be kind and respectful to all.
- Please tag NSFW topics.
- No NSFW image posts.
- Please provide content warnings where appropriate.
- Please do not repost bigoted content here.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
To make such a request, at the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the this: [Requesting Engagement from _________]
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Gender Spectrum // Resources for youth, parents and family, educators, mental health professionals and faith leaders.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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What the fuck are you talking about?
Do you think that somehow being a trans woman makes you ineligible to be a parent as well? That a partner transitioning is always going to put some kind of unrecoverable hurdle in a relationship?
No you aren't. Fuck off LMFAO.
Nobody has said otherwise. You and the other person are the only ones assuming this.
I guess I must have missed the part of the trans agenda where we're only allowed to be trans during times that are convenient for others.
Do I really have to address this? Do you seriously not understand how absurd this statement is? HEY OP NEXT TIME YOU 'CHOOSE' TO BE TRANS, FIGURE YOUR SHIT OUT BEFORE GETTING INTO A RELATIONSHIP.
How is it even slightly problematic to suggest “hey maybe you should be up front with someone before having a kid with them”? The subject matter is utterly irrelevant - being trans, hating dogs, you shouldn’t be hiding these things from someone you feel comfortable enough to have a kid with?
No shit? The fear of causing friction is the entire reason the OP posted this in the first place. The act of coming out to your partner is difficult and may cause issues yes, but to pretend it's going to immediately and ALWAYS ruin your relationship/marriage is asinine.
And even if it does ruin your existing relationship, living as yourself is always preferable to hiding your true self for the sake of a relationship where you act out a role.
Ideally OP would have transitioned at the earliest possible moment in her life, arguing over windows of opportunity is pointless.
If OP continues to repress and her mental health drops further because of it, that's going to affect her relationship as well. OP seems to feel that this is a good moment to come out to her wife, so I'm going to side with her over some unrelated cis people.
Here's a suggestion: take your suggestion and shove it.
You clearly don't understand how taxing it is to stay closeted, 5 years of repression is a hell of a time and if OP is at her limit where she NEEDS to say something, then she needs to say it. It's not as if this kid just popped into existence out of nowhere. If OP feels this is the right time, I'm going to trust her over what some performative ally has to say.
You said this as if OP isn't going to help parent their child.
No no, you're right, OP should just shut up and stayed closeted forever.
She's*
her*
she*
btw lmao
she*
yeah fuck you OP, stay in the closet.
What is this narrative that having a kid with a trans person is ROBBING someone of agency?
again lmao
A trans person transitioning isn't the burden of other people, fuck off with that noise. It doesn't take much effort at all to support your spouse in transitioning, and OP can continue to be a good spouse and parent while transitioning.