this post was submitted on 28 Jan 2024
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me_irl
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When I was an early teenager I realized with an epiphany that I could take my paper route money, go to the grocery store, and buy my own cookies! It was a light bulb moment. No mom to tell me how many I could have. An entire box of cookies all to myself! So I did it, and I ate half a box of Oreo cookies, and drank 2 cherry Cokes. I got so sick that I threw up and had to go to bed several hours early. At that point I realized that my mom wasn't just being mean when she told me "no" and put limits on me, and I started listening to her more. Of course a couple of years later my real teenage years started, and I completely forgot that valuable lesson.
Did the same when I got to college and ate three packets of pop tarts for breakfast.
In my early twenties I started getting into the habit of eating a couple Pop-Tarts every morning for breakfas and began to notice Pop-Tarts were giving me pain in my heart. Literal pain in my heart. I've always been a healthy fit person, those Pop-Tart pains are the closest thing I've ever felt to a heart attack, and anyway that's how I stopped eating Pop-Tarts.
Probably heartburn or indigestion haha, someone correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure heart attacks and other related problems generally don't manifest themselves as pain localised around the heart's physical location?
I'm reminded of Paula Poundstone's routine on how she eats a box of Pop Tarts a day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLLP1Wtrg0U
And that kids, is how I ~~met your mother~~ got diabetus.