this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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In the last year or so I started to see so many people of my age that have done truly incredible things and still doing more.
For the vast majority of my life my only goals were gettimg academic satisfaction and doing unproductive stuff in the free time to get temporary pleasure. No end goal whatsoever.
I kind of don't know what I've been doing in the last 17 years while someone gets a patent on solar systems, other invents a new recyclable plastic, and another found a successful startup. I mean, they all find what they're supposed to be doing with their lives and excel in them.
I feel overwhelmed for trying to pace up with these kind of people. Yet I don't like the way the things are and I can't do anything but envy those people.
Anyone with experience in this regard? How did you deal with this? Did you eventually "pace up" with these people or was it too late or an unattainable goal?
Edit: Whoops, I didn't expect so many replies! Thanks, I'll look into them all

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (4 children)

Comparison is the thief of joy. What others have done in their life says nothing about their level of happiness during those times. Accomplishments are just one sentence with so much that happens in between that you don’t know. I feel like society has really done people a disservice by convincing everyone that you have to do big things in order to have a great life and if you don’t do them all before you’re 30 then you’re old and wasted your life and that could not be further from the truth.

You don’t have to pace up with anyone, your path is completely different from theirs and your thing that you do can start any time because it is NEVER too late. As long as you’re living you can start your next path any day you want, saying you can’t is like accepting that you won’t try anything new again until you die.

Lastly, even if you don’t have some big accomplishment like you’re seeing others have that doesn’t make you “less than” anyone else. You can still lead a perfectly happy and wonderful life without having some really great big goal in mind. Your goal can be to be the best you that you can be to everyone you interact with and that would still be a valuable goal in life. Take a look at what you value in life and when you focus on those things and surround yourself with others with similar values then you’ll naturally find your next goals in life. You’re exactly where you need to be.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (3 children)

if you don’t do them all before you’re 30 then you’re old and wasted your life and that could not be further from the truth.

I think they're actually right. I just look around, older people don't want to move an inch from their comfort zone. It's almost always what they do in their youth that defined who they are. If they are still doing good things in their life still, they were usually not sleeping around in their youth either. I think there is something about getting old that makes you less flexible in general, psychologically.

I'm definitely not where I want to be. I look at my last year, last 2 years, last 4 years, last 6 years etc. and it's as if I never done anything right with exceptions (something something broken clock). And when I try to do something today, many times I struggle because I didn't start early, or I just straight up can't. I can give so many examples to this today. Me sleeping around only hurts me in the future.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Regardless of your age, you are a result of the daily choices you make. Coming from someone who is going on 30, I don’t feel like my life is defined by anything from when I was 17 and below. In fact, I don’t feel like I really started getting my shit together until well after college. And I’m honestly glad for that, I was a different person when I was 17 than I am today and I’ve grown a lot. 17 year old me would not recognize the person I’ve become today in a very very good way. You have so much ahead of you that’s really hard to see right now but it definitely gets better.

You don’t have to be where you want to be right now, but you can make a conscious decision to make small daily choices to get you to where you want to be. You’re focusing so much on what you haven’t done and not enough on what you could do in the future. What’s already happened doesn’t really matter, what matters is what you do tomorrow.

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