this post was submitted on 08 Jul 2023
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ADHD
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It's not either/or, it's because. I'm constantly craving novelty, which has led me to learn a little bit about almost everything, quite a bit about many things, and achieved mastery of nothing. Hell I've been playing guitar for 25-odd years, and that's pretty much the only exception, but even there, I'm nowhere near as good as I "should" be with that much experience.
I can C+ to B just about anything that interests me, but God help me beyond that point.
I don't remember writing this...
Some people try to perfect, plateau, improve inch by inch and rarely move to new experiences and that‘s just as fine as craving just those experiences by dipping your feet into it until you feel fine to expand your horizons. If you don’t feel held back because of whatever way you‘re going with this, I think it might be just in your nature.
It took me my entire life to figure out I don’t have to be perfect in what I’m doing. I just try to live, do what I want and not force myself through stuff my head wants me to because someone else or some social conventions expect me to have a certain expertise in something „by now“. It’s exhausting sometimes but this revelation made live so much easier to bear.
Also trying to get back to playing guitar. It has been 3 years playing with passion until depression killed any desire but I feel like I’m getting there eventually. I was a fast learner but I couldn’t be content with what I learned to take it easy and progress more slowly, so I tried forcing myself to become better and better at it as fast as possible but that’s just not how I can learn and it wasn’t much fun after a while anymore.