this post was submitted on 01 Jul 2023
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Parenting

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Hello everyone! I'm about to become a parent in a few months and I was wondering what books would you recommend reading to get myself prepared. Is there a new parents bible or something like It? The baby won't come with instructions. Thanks!

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[–] Ava 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I really liked these:

  • Expecting Better and Cribsheet by Emily Oster - I believe she's an economist, and her goal is to look at modern studies to help you make decisions related to pregnancy and then your child.
  • The Happy Sleeper by Heather Turgeon and Julie Wright - the ideas in this book have been around for a while (I was telling my mom about it and she said it was the same advice as when I was a baby), and I don't like all of it, but their advice about a bedtime routine was great for us from about 3m+.
  • Safe Infant Sleep by James J McKenna - if you're interested in co-sleeping at all. And honestly, everyone co-sleeps at some point, so it's good to be informed about how to do it safely. You don't want to have to look this stuff up at 3am when baby is screaming because they will only sleep in your arms.
  • How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber - I liked this one because I had a lot of anxiety about how to talk to kids. I didn't feel like my parents set good examples, and this book made me feel better about how to be emotionally available and safe for my kids.

I also liked the Instagram accounts heysleepybaby (sleep), nicolecruzrd (food habits), and solidstarts (6m+ feeding). I use the CDC Milestones app just to reassure myself that my baby isn't falling behind on anything, though my doctor asks all the important questions at our checkups too.

But most importantly, don't take anything written in a book or online as gospel (they're always very opionated/biased). Pick the parts you like and that feel right to you. Also, I skipped chapters a lot, I got tired of reading like 5 chapters trying to convince me to read the book when I was already reading it.

Lastly, just communicate as much as possible with your partner (if you have one), and be kind to yourself and to them. Babies don't need instruction manuals, and despite how much is written about them, you'll probably forget most of it. But any decisions you make should be made together, because very few strategies work if only one caregiver is committed to it.