this post was submitted on 28 Nov 2023
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Sometimes I need a break just turning on the computer. Or putting dishes in the dishwasher. Or moving the laundry from the drier to the bed.
I'm a lot "better" at doing tasks than most people that I know with unmedicated adhd, but some days are just... nope, I showered and brushed my teeth so imma spend the rest of the day doing whatever random thing captures my attention for more than 5 minutes
Usually need a few days like that in a week. I just let my brain off it's leash until the anxiety and guilt kicks in and then I get everything done is a fury
I put off a boring task at work for weeks in favor of a more interesting work project. I kept telling myself over and over that I should switch over and start the other project before it gets late. But every time I tried, I just couldn't work on it. I literally couldn't. It was so difficult I was almost falling asleep just staring at the code. I'd switch back.
I finally finished it today. The day before it was due. Came in this morning, brain kicked into overdrive and I just finished it all. I don't remember eating lunch. What should have been done in two weeks, was done in a little over two days. Why do I do this myself. I can't help it.
(The code looked really good though.)
I think that lil' kick some of us get is what divides people with adhd into the successful and unsucessful groups. Both suck, both are not our faults, but I'm glad to be able to eventually get stuff done even if it feels like I'm shortening my lifespan
I have a close friend who has inattentive adhd and he has a baaaaad time at life. He "lets" all the deadlines fly by and falls into depressions because of it. Got kicked out of school, ended up homeless for a while, finally recovered but then couldn't deal with credit cards, managed to get on his feet again and find a woman who supported him, but then she dumped him because he forgot to get her from the hospital. He's finally kind of ok, has a job and lives with his mom (at 40). I keep trying to get him to get back on meds but he says he can't afford the visit. He can't get through the paperwork for disability, either. He isn't stupid, we have great in-depth conversations and he's witty af. He just really... can't
I mention all that to illustrate what I mean by successful vs unsucessful. I've asked him if he gets the: ShitIHaveToDoThisAllRightNow! kick and he doesn't. Task pressure just paralyzes him