this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2023
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I'll admit, because of my Christian upbringing, I have begun to wonder if this is Hell. Just enough hope for you to know that it could be better, but no memory of anything but this. There's enough people not suffering (or at least pretending not to) to give hope, but no ability to ever change it. Isolation, pain, monotony, and just enough joy for most people to keep marching onward until they die, hoping that eventually it will get better.
If this is a recurring thought I would highly suggest pointing you towards Buddhism. I highly recommend the book "in the face of fear" Buddhist wisdom for challenging times. It has writings from all sorts of intelligent people, and does a good job of explaining how to transform them into tools.