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(Newly Trans - MTF) Seeking advice about feeling femme (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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A little while ago, I finally come out as trans to my friends. They've been wonderful, supportive, and encouraging. They were honestly the whole reason I finally was able to discover myself, especially my GF. But, and here's the key, I'm in a very delicate living situation, I'm pretty poor, and I can't reasonably just leave where I am and live somewhere else, not right now at least. Between the world and my rather transphobic family, I'm kind of stuck. I obviously can't get more feminine clothing, hair, ANY makeup of any sort, or anything I really want to try. I don't wanna make this a whole sob story or anything, so basically. Does anybody have some advice to FEEL more like a girl?

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

I know how you feel. I was in a similar situation not long ago. The things I started with that I loved was shaving. I never used to shave body hair but it's mostly all gone now. Smooth legs are so nice and a fresh shave is still a reliable way to help with dysphoria for me.

I was lucky that I worked from home during covid during the early days of my transition, so I was able to grow my hair out, as I used to always keep it short. I know you said a fem hair style is probably not an option right now, but if simply growing it out is, then there is lots you can do in the comfort of your home that is easily undoable for when being around others.

And I 100% agree with everything else here so far too. Therapy has been massively important for my journey, and if that's an option I highly encourage you to seek someone. I was lucky that where I live there were therapists who specialized in gender.

Also, again if possible, find a queer community! I was pretty stagnanted in my transition for a while, until I found an amazing online queer community. Just being able to talk to others like me and be in a new space where they only knew me as who I really am, and not as my dead name, was immensely helpful.

I believe in you! Congrats on coming out to your friends! 🏳️‍⚧️💖

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My friends are pretty gay (affectionate) XD I'm not too good at finding "communities" of any sort, truth be told. I get nervous around big groups and don't even get me STARTED on Discord. I never know how to get into the groove, since it feels like... No, I feel like I'm an intruder, even when the people are friendly enough. Thankfully, my current friend group is both surprisingly diverse in LGBT representation (me being the newest addition lol) and are incredibly kind. I think the only reason I posted here as opposed to the larger and more active Reddit is because it's smaller and more... quiet??? I'm not sure how to say it, but I felt okay with posting here.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

That's understandable! I totally get you on the big discord communities. I was very much the same way... Until I found the one I'm on. And even then I felt like I was intruding for a while. I'm really happy you have good representation in your friend group though! 🥰