Gonna just say it. As a longtime Lemmy user I'm really not a fan of a lot of the people coming over from Reddit. It's probably just a small but vocal minority and confirmation bias on my part, but I get the impression that they are trying to turn Lemmy into Reddit, toxicity, entitlement, stupid challenges and all.
When we've had two major debacles before Reddit even opened back up, one about "how dare these unpaid admins try to lessen their workload with sign up questions", and the other about "how dare instances block other instances that are being used as proxies for forwarding spam and bot content into their own instances." The people from reddit seem to still think they're on Reddit and any perceived inferiority that Lemmy has compared to Reddit is seen as just as bad as Reddit's corporate decisions. A few people even trying to go to an instance with the intent of "converting" the existing users who may be socialist or communist, by commenting abuse on their posts of course, just like how they presumably do it on Reddit.
People also seem to be refusing to learn what federation is and how that works, despite it being literally the most important aspects of Lemmy. This is evident in people telling instances who block spam or troll ridden instances to "mind their own business" as if that content doesn't get forwarded over to and show up on the main pages of other instances, you know, what the fediverse was designed to do.
FYI, Reddit has opened back up. Spez has made it clear that he will never tolerate subreddits shutting down and inconveniencing you again. If you're so unwilling to even adopt a different mindset and perspective when coming to Lemmy, I think it's best if you went back. Plenty of us came here because we didn't want to be on Reddit.
Last thing and a pet peeve of mine: stop calling yourself a refugee. You left a meme website for another meme website because you didn't like one aspect of the management, the entire decision and migration probably took less than an hour of you sitting in your comfortable house in front of a computer. To compare that to being a refugee speaks volumes about your entitlement and privilege. And it's especially ironic considering what real refugees go through to save themselves and their families, that you won't even answer a few registration questions.
Hmm. So as a different perspective, I joined because people were talking about it as a Reddit alternative. Reddit never clicked with me as it just felt like a whirlpool feeding into a meat-grinder. I figured I'd give this other thing a try, and it's has felt more like a ye-olde forum where I can actually say things and get responses back. Though discussions still don't seem to have a lot of longevity. Still, it's kinda nice, and I'll stick around for a bit. :)
I'm not here for the memes or news though... So I don't really have any experience with the issues the OP says, and I'm probably some weird minority?
I relate to that. I think some of the ills of reddit will inevitably be replicated here because they are just artifacts of scale. Like the good-luck-getting-a-comment-heard-if-you-don't-get-in-early effect.