this post was submitted on 28 Jun 2023
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Hey Folks!

I've been living abroad for over half my life in a country where tipping is not the norm. At most you would round up. 19โ‚ฌ bill? Here's a 20, keep this change.

Going to the US soon to visit family and the whole idea of tipping makes me nervous. It seems there's a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don't know how much has changed in this regard.

The system seems ridiculously unfair, and that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference.

So will AITA if I don't tip? Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

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[โ€“] [email protected] 46 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

My view is: I don't like this cultural element, and I am glad that I live in a country without it. But if I am a visitor from abroad I would not resist the local culture and try to impose my own values. If I am aware of this cultural element and I dislike it, my options would be to either avoid restaurants and other tipping situations as much as I can, or simply account for the tip when making my financial decisions, and pay it.

If I live in the country then it is different, because then I am more entitled to be a driver of change. Personally, my approach would be to support businesses with explicit no-tipping policy, and to refuse receiving tips myself.

[โ€“] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago (2 children)

No one can force to tip and as Americans we hate the tipping culture too.

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago

Some people love it, namely the ones that have most to gain.

So business owners, and extremely attractive waitstaff

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Sort of


there are definitely restaurants which include gratuity, either for all parties or for parties greater than X people (e.g., 5 or more).

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

One of the best answers so far, thanks! I'm not a foreigner, but I've been gone for over half my life, so it certainly feels like it. Coming back it always a culture shock.