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Please Wake up. (lemmy.ohaa.xyz)
submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[-] [email protected] 159 points 9 months ago

Dear Medical Team:

Please send me an up-to-date itemized medical bill. If possible, coordinate with my family on my current amount of medical debt and send that across as well. This will help me determine whether or not I even want to wake up.

Yours sleepily,
comatose ryan

[-] [email protected] 93 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Don't worry, medical care is now government funded in the real world! The taxes you paid prior to falling into a coma covered you.

This is in no way a ploy to get you to wake up so we can put you in the medical work camp because you owe us 17 million dollars.

With love, Kind and gentle Medical industries inc*

*A fully owned subsidy of Nestlé

[-] [email protected] 42 points 9 months ago

The horror lies in the final sentence

[-] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

Honestly the second sentence may be redundant given how hard the last one hits thinking about it now.

But people like it so it will stay the way it is!

[-] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Amazon is already venturing into the medical field.

[-] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Got that Amazon Prime Healthcare+ subscription: All ambulance rides are free, but the subscription costs you $999 per month

[-] [email protected] 1 points 9 months ago

At least it's not dated in the Year of the Depend Adult Undergarment

[-] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

17 ~~m~~billion dollars

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this post was submitted on 10 Oct 2023
586 points (92.7% liked)

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