this post was submitted on 05 Oct 2023
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Tara Rule says her doctor in upstate New York was “determined to protect a hypothetical fetus" instead of helping her treat debilitating pain.

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[–] [email protected] 90 points 1 year ago (12 children)

Based on what I've read in r/childfree, it's far more common than not for doctors to prioritize the needs of a hypothetical husband or fetus over those of a real live woman. I've also known someone in real life who couldn't get a painful medical condition fixed until her mid 30s because the treatment caused sterility. The problem goes way beyond religion; it's more a matter of institutional sexism and the hubris of doctors thinking they know better than any woman who says she doesn't want kids.

[–] BeaPep 51 points 1 year ago (10 children)

I've been to several different OBs trying to solve my almost-two-year-long-period and every single one of them refuses to do anything for me. I'm just "too young" for them to stop me from having kids one day. And giving me a hysterectomy is "too dangerous" and "risky" when my life isn't in danger. It doesn't matter that I've tried everything they suggest. Try it again!! It's so fucking tiring.

I've just given up paying the constant doctor fees to see asshole doctors anymore and just figure I'll either stop having the problem eventually or I'll be "old enough" (40 maybe?) to finally get surgery... It's all a nightmare, especially in the religious south...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

"Too risky" is such bullshit anyway. My OBGYN said that at my age (22), the only risks (aside from potential complications that come with ANY surgery) were a slightly early menopause (couple years max) and higher chance of vaginal prolapse (but that they put supports in place and there are things that can be done to correct this if it occurs)

[–] BeaPep 2 points 1 year ago

Right?? That's pretty much what it seemed like to me too. No doctor really wanted to go into it except one mentioned that "any surgery with anesthesia can be dangerous!" and I remember I ditched that doctor on the first visit. I think a lot of it is rural areas have... less than great doctors.

Most of my doctor hopping was at least 9 months ago now so it all kinda just blurs together now.

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