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How can I deal with not being able to help with other people's problems whom I care about? (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

22 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hi all. Apologies if this isn't the right community for this type of question. Just let me know and I'll remove it.

Recently I've been struggling a bit. There are a few people in my life right know who I care deeply about. They are going through some very rough times right now. (Ex: money issues, sick relatives, etc.)

I am very frustrated because I hear about what's going on all the time and I am powerless to do anything to help. The advice I've had in the past is "just be a friend and be there for them," but there is only so far I am mentally and even physically able to go with that. All I want to do is to fix it and make it better for them but I can't.

And it's been making me go a bit crazy tbh. It's pretty narcissistic of me to be reacting this way, but I can't help it. I don't tell these people that I am stressed out because of them and I don't tell them that it is affecting me in any way. It's such an asshole move for me to be feeling this way but I just don't know how to get out of it.

I try to be nice and friendly all the time, but it's killing me. I just want to be able to help but I can't. I'm completely and totally powerless.

Surely there are those of you out there who care about others and have run into this issue before. What the actual fuck am I supposed to do? "Just be a friend" doesn't help my mental state or do anything for any of the issues that any of us have.

Thanks all.

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[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Suck it up and don't stand in their way, let them do what's necessary and mind your own business. That would be my adwise to someone who seems to have the problem to realize that they are not the center of the universe.

I see it at work all the time people thinking that the whole company depends on them and that if they would to resign it would go down. It never does, because once they don't sit in that spot finally other people can raise to the occasion and do even a better job.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I think you've misunderstood me. I'm not walking around demanding for other people to do things. People will confide in or vent to me and I can't stand seeing them hurting and in pain. And there's no way for me to take the pain away. I don't at all think that I'm some sort of important powerful person that is holding anyone up.