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That Russia wasn't the aggressor in the Cuba missile crisis. They were responding to the US installing missiles pointed at them from Turkey and Italy.
That's pretty much my understanding. Each side was seeing how far they could push things to gain an advantage. There wasn't good guys and bad guys (there never is, but especially here). It was just a constant escalation to try to ensure your side had the upper hand.
The US was being the bully as usual Then tried to play victim when Russia did the same