this post was submitted on 15 Sep 2023
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Me in tech support.
Customer calls: "Internet is not working!!"
Me: "Router lights status?"
Customer: "Can't tell."
Me: "Why?"
Customer: "Router still in box."
Me: "..?"
Me (pretends it was just an error of communication): "Can you please describe the lights on your router?"
Customer: "I can't. It's still in the packaging. The box is on my table."
Me: "...??!? ... You ... need at least electricity to power this device."
Customer spirals into rage and madness: "I ordered wireless internet!! I won't plug any cables in! I did not want any wires!!!"
This reminds me of when we were the first ISP in France (we had a thing that was basically Compuserve with Internet bolted on — now some people will know what that was :-/).
We were at some kind of expo, I was the tech guy, I was with the cute sales girl. For historical reasons, we started with mostly Apple clients, then opened to everything else (this was the early 90s in Europe).
Anyway I was playing on my Linux machine (yay, early adopter) and she had a hairy guy that came in that was enthralled with the whole thing. So she spent a full forty minutes with him, explaining the whole local forum things, the Internet, the Usenet, the email, the whole shebang, the guy loves it.
So he really wants to sign on, but when he's filling in the papers, he's stuck. "Is it ok if I leave that blank?"
"That" was the phone number. The guy didn't have a phone line. At the time all accesses were through a modem. No phone line, no online access. The wonders of the online world were forever beyond his reach.
It took another ten minutes to get this through to him.
Was that minitel? I remember it being pretty popular in France.
Nope. ~~Minutely~~ Minitel was something else entirely.
As a high school student, I had a job like this for about a week. On my last day, I received this call just like yours and I said “You are quite possibly the stupidest person I’ve ever interacted with” because they were yelling this type of nonsense and screaming over me.
I do not regret my exit to the call center work life. You people have a special type of patience and deserve to be paid far more.
No customer service reps? Company fails.
Physical pain.
relevant classic meme
I mean, nowadays you can get wireless internet – via LTE/5G. For technologically illiterate users, I’d put the blame on whoever sold them a WiFi router.