##Overview I have not cut my hair since 2018. I went to a stylist maybe 3 years ago to get my hair thinned but otherwise it's been just growing freely for many years. I've never had hair like this prior to now and any advice on treatment for it so it can be healthier would be appreciated.
It's incredibly thick. When it's in a pony tail, at the base of my skull it is probably about 1"—1¼" diameter. I've never really been able to freely run my fingers or a straight comb through my hair, as it gets caught on random kinks or tangles along the way. I use a soft bristle wet hairbrush and it has been fantastic for controlling my hair.
I notice texturally my hair tends to have a somewhat paradoxical feeling of being dry and oily at the same time. Even after shampooing, if I feel my hair, the skin on my hand will seem to have a bit of oily buildup on it. But even so, you can see that my hair is often frizzy and the physical sensation as I touch it is of it being rather dry.
It often takes a bit of time to soak my hair when showering, maybe 3-4 minutes of running water. When wet, my hair sits at about my pec, and I've measured some follicles to be over 16" long, though when dry the hair bounces up significantly, barely touching my shoulders.
##Goals I would love my hair to not be so voluminous when dry. It is poofy, out of control. I just want it to sit down a little more so I can have it down without constantly battling it to not get in my face and mouth.
I want my hair to feel smoother. Is silky a goal? Who knows. I've gotten a lot of compliments on my hair over the years and I feel like it could be much better looking than it is now.
If kinkiness and tangles are an inevitable symptom of my hair type, so be it. Otherwise, I would really enjoy being able to run my hands through my hair without accidentally putting strands out in the process.
Thank you for your consideration and time!
Don't brush it for a start. When you are in the shower use a wide toothed comb to detangle. Shower less if possible, it may seem like the opposite of what you'd want to to but your killing your hair by shampooing too much and it's possible the shampoo you are using is really bad. Unfortunately I have to use a sulphate shampoo with salicylic acid for my hair and that really harsh so I have experience here. My hair is also incredibly thick and has a low porosity.
Here's what I do; I wash my hair once a week and when I do I first put in a any conditioner (silicone or no silicone bc I'm using sulphates anyway) then I detangle and mix in my shampoo. Once that's done I then use a deep conditioner that sits in my hair for roughly ten minutes making sure to gently massage the hair to make sure it gets everywhere. Once I rinse that out I'll use my normal conditioner (Shea moisture works best for me) and then let that sit for a bit before squeezing the moisture out of my hair as much as possible but leaving the conditioner in. I then let it air dry or plop it depending on what I'm feeling.
I know that sounds like a fuck ton of work and it sorta is but you only gotta do it once a week and you'll likely have better results and less complexity of you don't have to use sulphates like I do
You don't rinse out the Shea Moisture in the final step? Is it okay to leave that in as your hair dries?
I do not rinse it out and it seems to work great for me. I can't speak for how good it is for your scalp as my dandruff is a constant issue but it makes my hair look nice for sure.