##Overview I have not cut my hair since 2018. I went to a stylist maybe 3 years ago to get my hair thinned but otherwise it's been just growing freely for many years. I've never had hair like this prior to now and any advice on treatment for it so it can be healthier would be appreciated.
It's incredibly thick. When it's in a pony tail, at the base of my skull it is probably about 1"—1¼" diameter. I've never really been able to freely run my fingers or a straight comb through my hair, as it gets caught on random kinks or tangles along the way. I use a soft bristle wet hairbrush and it has been fantastic for controlling my hair.
I notice texturally my hair tends to have a somewhat paradoxical feeling of being dry and oily at the same time. Even after shampooing, if I feel my hair, the skin on my hand will seem to have a bit of oily buildup on it. But even so, you can see that my hair is often frizzy and the physical sensation as I touch it is of it being rather dry.
It often takes a bit of time to soak my hair when showering, maybe 3-4 minutes of running water. When wet, my hair sits at about my pec, and I've measured some follicles to be over 16" long, though when dry the hair bounces up significantly, barely touching my shoulders.
##Goals I would love my hair to not be so voluminous when dry. It is poofy, out of control. I just want it to sit down a little more so I can have it down without constantly battling it to not get in my face and mouth.
I want my hair to feel smoother. Is silky a goal? Who knows. I've gotten a lot of compliments on my hair over the years and I feel like it could be much better looking than it is now.
If kinkiness and tangles are an inevitable symptom of my hair type, so be it. Otherwise, I would really enjoy being able to run my hands through my hair without accidentally putting strands out in the process.
Thank you for your consideration and time!
Wow! Your hair is gorgeous!
I have wavy hair, and nowhere near as thick and luscious as yours, and even then my hair does exactly as you describe. It's part of the texture really. When brushing this type of hair, it poofs up, a bit like Emma Watson in the first Harry Potter film. Combs are better for when using flat irons or when cutting hair. For detangling you'll want a wet brush, and you'll want to work from the lower parts of your hair up to not damage the hair too much. Though I gather you've already realised this, since working top down is nigh impossible without using force and making the hair snap.
This actually isn't all that weird. Shampoo is really just meant to do one thing: clean your scalp and hair from residue. Shampoos with oils and stuff is kind of bogus because they add what they're meant to remove. When you shampoo your hair properly it's just meant to feel clean.
This video has some good tips on how to choose a good shampoo. Essentially, a good shampoo will leave your hair clean, and possibly after an adjustment period, you won't have to wash your hair as often. With the right shampoo you'll be rid of the oil really fast.
Regarding the moisture, you'll want to start using a hair mask every so often. The first couple of times you might want to leave it in for a while, I usually do half an hour or so, before rinsing. Once the moisture is restored you can probably get away with just doing a five minute mask whenever you feel like your hair needs a pick-me-up.
The same guy has a video on this too, actually.
Always use conditioner. I'm not entirely sure what'd be best for your hair type. As a wavy hair person I want to make use of really light products that don't leave too much in, since oils and such would weigh down my hair and gravity would prevent the waves from forming well. People with really curly hair generally use quite heavy products because their hair curls really well anyway. I'm not 100% sure on your hair type, but I think you fall more into the type that can use heavier products without much issue.
Lastly, once you've showered, you'll want to use a leave-in conditioner on your hair, and some hair oil on the ends of your hair to help seal the moisture in. Other styling things (mousse, gel, etc) can help create a better hold.
As far as products go, it really differs depending on your hair and its needs, and where you live. The products that work great for me might not cut it for you, or even be available where you are.