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It's important to look at the reactions you get. If what you're saying provokes discomfort or hostility, that's the time to reëxamine what you just said.
And further, when someone disagrees, try to politely ask why. Most people are willing to explain where you fucked up a long as you don't get defensive.
Reading other responses, I think maybe I misunderstood OP. I thought she was asking, "Self-assured peeps, how do you self-monitor for arrogance and egotism?", which is where my advice is coming from.
yeah this is definitely hard, I feel like sometimes it is hard to see what caused it. or overthinking on what is it that provoked. and then focusing on probably the wrong causation and then basing everything afterwards on that.
Genuinely asking, Do you usually ask for clarification even on that or not? I feel it would make it worse, "What did I do, to make you say that just now to me?" I would normally think it comes off as arrogant.
Yeah, the problem is sometimes, the experiences don't match up properly and the explanation will still not fit the reason for disagreement. Navigating past that, is really difficult. Because I feel it then becomes a battle of egos. Because all points on the table, self-included, will not fit the solution. But, I guess maybe in these situations a third party is necessary?