this post was submitted on 06 Sep 2023
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It sounds like you're describing the Paradox of Tolerance.
I don't really have a good answer other than follow your heart, I guess.
It's not a paradox, it's a social contract. Tolerance is only deserved by those who are tolerant themselves.
https://archive.ph/vL5iT
It is a paradox because there's no objective, universal definition of tolerance. It's literally impossible to be tolerant of everything. So you're left with different forms of what intolerance people deem acceptable.
People make the same mistake about bigotry. It's impossible not to be a bigot. You just don't want to be the wrong kind of bigot. Now if only we could all agree on exactly what that was.