988
Report: You Could Quit Job Right Now And Just Play PS5 Until You Run Out Of Money
(www.theonion.com)
this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
988 points (98.1% liked)
The Onion
4565 readers
406 users here now
The Onion
A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.
Great Satire Writing:
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
I'm autistic as fuck and could not get employed for years.
You have to lie. Lying is the secret trick to getting a job. Get help lying from people willing to lie for you, and lie about your work experience. Fuck bourgoiuse ethics, you deserve to live and these fuckers gated it behind this kafkaesque song and dance, so just lie to their faces like they're lying to yours so you can get paid enough to live indoors.
It’s never OK to lie to a business. Don’t do that.
I dont think people are reading the username here lmao
why not?
How are they supposed to make an informed decision to hire you or not if you’re just lying about everything? Maybe you should start your own business and see if you like people lying to you when you’re trying to find good help
can't tell if this is a bit or a boomer
How hard is it to tell the truth? When I got my first job I walked straight into the place I wanted to work and stuck out my hand to the boss, I said “Uncle Mike, I’m ready to work” and he hired me on the spot. I was able to save up a few hundred thousand in the first year working there and after that I made some good investments, now I’m a successful landlord and business owner. Today’s kids don’t want to do the leg work.
Trained other skills.
Don't mention it was gaming skills, lol
Im tired, boss
Volunteered abroad. Good luck with them checking.
In foreign nations, all virtual ones
Honestly, I don't have a technical background at all, my background is social work and physical security. I have always gotten approval by telling people I got a lucky hit in the stock market and used that money to float while I looked for other opportunities. It is true, but about three jobs ago. Still works though!
What the software?