this post was submitted on 31 Aug 2023
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[–] [email protected] 173 points 11 months ago (7 children)

You're gifted enough to cruise through the first few stages of your education without trying, so you forge an identity as "the smart kid" but never build up skills in learning or studying, so when you finally get to a level where your natural intelligence can't carry you anymore you can't keep up with the people who did learn those skills and you start to fail and lose your identity as the smart kid which causes you to break down because that'd how you defined yourself for so long..... or so I've heard.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 11 months ago (1 children)

That's the cost of designing education for the worst students.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (3 children)

This is actually the reason. Because there is no such thing as "natural intelligence". Not more than there is "natural strength". There are natural predispositions, yes, but what you get is function of what training effort you put in. Whether you realise, and/or like, putting effort into training your intelligence, is is another thing. So people who are "above average" were in a favorable environment that fostered their development without it feeling forced, or unnatural. And then, when the environment was replaced by the school's, it sadly didn't foster personal development anymore. I would argue we would need to redesign education, now that we have internet. We don't have to design courses around physical limits.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Because there is no such thing as "natural intelligence".

Weell, some children have it easier to comprehend stuff on the logical/abstract level than others. Which feeds their curiousity. Which trains their intelligence...

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

It is also not always about our intelligence but our skill set. I rarely have hard time learning when I want, but issue in my case has been in addition to probable ADHD and mental health issues that the system wasn't designed to teach me studying.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Well you have to meet these people with down syndrome

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago (2 children)

I feel like you watched me grow up. For a long time I was smart enough to pick things up naturally, I was even offered to skip grades.

Then the math got complicated and I didn't know how to learn it. I went from being the smart kid to being the stupid one in remedial math. Being smart was all I had at that point, so when I "lost" that, I lost everything in my eyes. I was stupid and I was never going to be anything because of it.

I ended up getting my GED as an adult and I now have a promising career in insurance- so I didn't really lose everything, but when I was 15 it sure felt like I had.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago

More or less the same, except I ran out of steam somewhere in the calc 2 to calc 3 area...so instead of becoming an engineer, I became someone who works for them.

In some ways it ain't bad. I'm "skilled technical staff" whose work makes my position "salary non-exempt", which means that at most companies/employers, my work gets guaranteed salary pay, but if I am asked to go over 40h in any given week, they're legally obligated to pay me 1.5x OT pay.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

I am crossing this divide now. I have secondary education but no university and I am working to get to med school now (In Finland it is a combined undergrad and med school). I think I can do it but I don't really know how to study. I know how to learn but learning in schedule is the issue. I was too ill to go to university when I should have and I could have gone to easier courses I could have gone to without an entrance exam and done OK but I always wanted medicine. Or well, I not easier but easier to get into like maths. After I got better I ended up in aid work, and stopping that is really hard. But I still want to become a doctor so I am trying now in my thirties. Having what looks like undiagnosed ADHD that is now under investigation and crappy childhood might explain part of why I never became what people felt I should have but the fact that I never had to learn to study because I didn't need to get through is up there.

I try to remember that our education does not mean anything for our value, but it seems hard when it comes to you.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 11 months ago

Excuse me, I resent being attacked at 5am on a Friday, tyvm.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 11 months ago

Wow, that's exactly what I've... heard... too!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

That stang...

Also, when you see it happen and you actually start trying and do better but some teachers always give you a lower mark to "motivate" you so you'll "try even harder".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 months ago (2 children)

some teachers always give you a lower mark to "motivate" you so you'll "try even harder".

Do people actually do this? I know one thing for sure: someone who does that is not "gifted"

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Yes they do. The old "we expect more from YOU".

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago

Yes, they do...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago

First half describes me, second part does not. Never struggled in school or university (although I did fail lectures because I was too lazy to show up for exams).

But I also never defined myself about being "the smart kid", I always rejected that notion. Society didn't and still projected it onto me. That's why I'm breaking down crying every other day. I always tried to help people that do struggle, I always tried to keep my "gift" as far away from conversation as possible. It didn't matter, I'm a failure.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Why did you have to remind me of my higher education failures