this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy

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[โ€“] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (6 children)

Well I do have around 200 pictures of my butthole, and if I was held for ransom where those pictures were emailed to either of my grandfathers then I would pay a tidy sum to prevent it. Grandma, mom, dad, step-niece, I don't care. But if my grandfather might see my butthole, I would happily pay $40m to keep him from seeing my bare back butthole and balls. I don't want you all to get the wrong idea, I love Gramps, but he has seen enough of my butthole, and I want to stay in his will.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I have, in fact, gained access to your sphincter vault. I will be emailing these pictures to both of your grandfather's (and 2 excoworkers). Please send me 40 million dollars to scammy(dot)scam scam(at)notascam(dot)com.

Thank you.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

The true power move is to send it before the hackers do. Beat them to the punch.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Hamilton moment.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You should consider putting pants on, then

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

But I don't have pants on to put

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Only 200? Step up your game. Gramps didn't sub $5.99 / month OF out of his retirement funds for nothing.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

My best guess is hemorrhoid followup - what would you do, ask your neighbor to look and comment on your butt?

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Oh dear. I guess that's what's necessary.

[โ€“] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I wanted to do one of those old school photo montages where I took a picture everyday. It becomes a real chore trying to find time to expose your dump truck. Call it sunken cost fallacy, but my butthole has done a lot for me over the years.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

...Why would you do a photo montage of that?

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I mean, why do we take pictures of our offspring? They're keepsakes to remember how they've grown. When I play them the montage on their death beds they can finally say, "you sure have grown into a giant asshole."