this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
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I'd pay 3 times the amount of a regular ticket to watch the scene where Terry Crews, in a gorgeous ball gown, is dancing with Prince Charming, and when realizing it's almost midnight, flexes his pecs, and yells goodbye before disappearing into the night.
Prince Charming then goes around trying to find the perfect pec flex. Alternatively, bicep circumference would also be acceptable as a glass slipper alternative.
Wrong movie plot, but I would seriously watch the fuck out of this.
Edit: Get Andy Samberg as the prince and I will fight outside the theatre in a ball gown.
I'm not sure that threatening to fight Andy Samberg is the best way to sign him into a movie. Then again, I don't know the guy...
He might be interested in checking it out. It would be the nicest gown ever worn in a wrestling match outside a theatre.
You're thinking Cinderella, not Snow White.
shhh, he's on a roll man
Wait which ones Snow White?
The one with the seven dwarves. Which opens up a lot of interesting casting choices.
Then we cast Terry Crews for the other one too.
For Snow White, we need Danny Devito, Warwick Davis, Bridget Powers, Daniel Radcliffe, Elijah Wood, Gary Oldman, and Nicolas Cage for the roles of the dwarves. For the Wicked Queen, Andy Samberg, and the mirror is Margot Robbie using the Harley Quinn voice. If Margot is unavailable, we have Tom Cruise as Les Grossman as the mirror.
Elijah really needs to start leaning into how fucking weird he has allowed himself to become since LotR. And I know he has a little, but clearly it's not enough.
If you haven't seen Wilfred, watch it NOW. It's amazing. It gets weirder and weirder towards the end. It's absolutely fucking amazing.
Will do, thanks brother
Just cast Terry Crews as all of them, Eddie Murphy style
Boban Marjonovic plays all 7 dwarves
Let him cook!
White Chicks II: Bro White
How about this: Prince Charming tries to kiss the sleeping Snow White, but she wakes up and beats the hell out of him then lectures him on consent.
I'd watch that. But there should be a really good musical number called "Everything is rape without consent" or something... It probably wouldn't be appropriate for the target audience, but yes I agree with the point you're making: Snow White & Cinderella are way fucked.
Cinderella would be the prince going around with barbells trying to find the princess (Terry) who can lift them. Only he can carry the prince down the aisle.