this post was submitted on 21 Jun 2025
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Seems we could use a few thousand decent people to join ICE and start exercising some of the ideally non-violent techniques found in the CIA's civilian sabotage field manual from WW2.
"Oh shit. Sorry boss. I thought this ICE van ran on diesel fuel, not gasoline."
"Ah crap, I left the door to the detention van unlocked and all the prisoners ran away!"
"What do you mean I'm lazy and unproductive? I've been at every one of our raids. Just because I didn't apprehend anyone myself, doesn't mean I wasn't working."
"Look, I'm just being thorough. It's important to check, double check, and triple check any orders or warrants. There's a lot of people trying to sabotage ICE right now. That's why I always confirm our orders both in email and in person before moving forward. I would also like to hold a meeting to plan how we might establish a committee on preventing leftists from sabotaging ICE."
Collect a paycheck, drain ICE funds, and be the most unproductive and incompetent ICE agent in history.
I truly like this idea.
Unfortunately, they'll want to see my social media, and when they see that I routinely refer to the Faux President as HitlerPig, and Stephen Miller as PeeWee Himmler, they'll probably escort me straight from the interview to El Salvador.