this post was submitted on 06 Aug 2023
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Self esteem is something a lot of people (myself included) need to practice to get good at.
For me, I had to realize I’m insignificant to most people to start being myself more. That and doing things. Like, anything you do, whether you love it or not, is better than doomscrolling.
You probably recognize you need to practice to get good at literally anything else. Why would socializing be an exception. Don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to you yesterday.
For me, I am aware that I'm insignificant, and that's the main reason why I'm not doing anything in life.
Nobody is going to remember me so might as well not do anything instead of doing what I want.
“I don’t want to do anything”. Okay, how can we make that happen?
You can be significant to people just by being the person who smiled at them when they’re having a rough day. Picked up the neighbor’s trash can that blew into the street. Offered to get something off a shelf for someone who can’t reach it or can’t lift it very well.
The story of your life doesn’t exist outside your head, your family, and maybe your coworkers. You can see being famous or accomplished doesn’t eliminate suffering easily. Believe it.
Sadly there's a finite amount of people you can piss off before having to move to a different area.
What it I don't want to do that? Shit, if it's work related even that might not save you because people ask for references.
At least Other skills you can practice for as long as you have the money.
I want say with as much empathy as possible: time to examine yourself. Why are you pissing people off so much, and seemingly irreparably?
If this is a serious post, my advice would be to consult someone you trust who cares about you. Then believe them.
Then, after working on it, go find a job working with ex-military guys.
If it’s not serious, sorry my over-caring ass fell for it and still have a good one if you can.
In my particular case: turns out that autistic traits set the neurotypical people off, and can potentially trigger aggression even if the autistic person has done nothing wrong. Add to that the difficulty to read social cues and, well, I had to move schools twice for a reason.