this post was submitted on 18 Jun 2025
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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

When asked for comment on the new device, US Secretary of Defence Pete Hegseth simply responded: “1345: ‘Trigger Based’ F-18 1st Strike Window Starts (Target Terrorist is @ his Known Location so SHOULD BE ON TIME – also, Strike Drones Launch (MQ-9s).”

Shit, now I have to buy it.