this post was submitted on 01 May 2025
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I, the MuskyMelon, officially announce my candidacy for CEO of Tesla!!!
As CEO of Tesla, what will you do differently?
Keep your answer under 5 minutes
I'd do everything exactly the same, but not be a public assholes.
You're hired
Get rid of the Cyberduck
Fix open issues with existing cars, not come up with new shit to avoid fixing stuff.
E-muscle car.
Add LIDAR to all new cars and figure out an upgrade for older ones.
Too expensive! Let's run a campaign saying real Americans buy teslas!
I'd vote for you if I could! Tesla could be alright without Musk, but it's a long, uphill drive from where they're at now.