this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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ADHD
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You're doing it(dating) "wrong". If you're talking about online dating that is. The whole point is that you exchange a few messages then go on an actual date. Nobody does online dating to find a penpal.
I mean, meh. I never would've gotten together with people if I hadn't just followed whatever they were comfortable with. I wrote for like 3 weeks about the deepest shit before I met up with someone, still together with that person. With others, I do exchange 3 messages and then meet up.
It's more about genuinely being interested in the other person, getting them out of their "shell", i.e. talking about what they truly want, by being truly open yourself. So in a sense what you say is true though, if you wanna meet, you should tell them you wanna meet.
I've also been successful re-establishing "ghosted" connections just by saying what I feel like "huh I thought we had a good connection here, apparently I misjudged that, anyway, hope you have a good one :)"
Of course there'll be many where you're just too different to build a connection, too incompatible, or just too much unrelated shit getting in the way. But there's just no single script to follow. Except just saying what you want/feel, and truly listening.
I totally agree. I think setting proper expectations and having the right attitude when it comes to online or just modern dating in general is really important. If you think every person might "be the one" or you overthink every situation, your going to have a really bad time.
Just be genuine, honest, and try to have fun, dating is supposed to be fun.