this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2025
629 points (99.4% liked)

The Onion

5872 readers
1238 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 51 points 1 week ago (7 children)

How in God's name do you bankrupt a casino?

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 week ago

Multiple times, too

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 week ago (1 children)

By using it to launder money.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Using it to launder money usually results in an extremely profitable casino, not the opposite.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I have a feeling Trump thought money laundering involved laundromats.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Well you see, a casino is an extremely complex, mult-layered business in which customers enter said business with the expectation and intent of exchanging money for entertainment, and the casino itself is guaranteed through simple probabilities and statistics to have an advantage over the customer on all of the games presented, and.... oh wait. Yep, he must really suck at business.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

A casino is a business where people give you money expecting nothing in return.

There are a lot of ruffles and flourishes to disguise that fact, but is the simple truth.

And Trump is so stupid he managed to fuck it up. Twice.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Bankrupting a casino is usually a good thing. E.g. "I'm the man who broke the bank at Monte Carlo".

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Bankrupting it from the outside is good for the guy who does it. But that's not the same thing.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Launder whatever you want, but you could still be able to stay in the black.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

By being Dumbass Donny.