When I was younger I went to a party at some random girl's house that my bro was trying to get with. A few of us there, we all got shit faced. Made food, drank a ton, music, the works.

Girl had a dog. Small thing, maybe some kind of pug mix? I don't know. Didn't have the really messed up airway but it was close.

I love dogs, I love animals in general. I usually will hang out with a dog at someone's house more than the people. This dog was super hesitant to hang out though, the girl said she was just really timid around men, always had been. That's ok. I tried to break the ice through the night but it never took, doggie was always hesitant of me. Very very unusual, animals generally take to me very quickly, but like the girl said, dog was just not ok with men.

I wake up on the couch and it's barely light. I don't wake up of my own accord, I wake up because this dog is slobbering on the side of my face as much as she can reach with me on the couch. Dog is whining, constantly licking me.

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Wtf dog are you for real

I try to roll over and pass back out, doggie does not let up. Jumps up on me, licking face, being super affectionate. Total 180 from the night before.

My heart warms up and I start to pet her, she's furiously licking my face. At this point my brain fog clears enough that I can tell it's not just the dog whining I hear, but a baby is crying from somewhere

Wtf there's a baby here?? I just spent all night partying in this house, there was no fucking baby, no mention of a baby, this girl that lived there was obviously ok with hooking up with my friend, he didn't say anything about a baby either, wtf.

Baby is crying from some random room. Dog keeps hopping off me and back on, licking my face

Alright dog let's go check on the baby

Dog leads me down the hallway to the baby's room, baby is crying in the crib, room smells like dirty diaper.

Dog has stopped whining, is with me wagging tail furiously

Alright doggie where's the diapers

I swear to God that dog showed me where the diapers were, the wipes, everything. Dog went and danced around everything I needed. I cleaned the baby up, changed her, held her for a little bit, and the dog was super calm and 100% cool with my pets now.

I left and never went back but I will always remember that little dog that didn't trust me at all the night before but took a chance on my the next day and would not let me stay passed out because the little girl was crying in the other room.

Super fucked up situation in general but that dog was the shit. Most responsible fucking living thing in the house had four legs and probably eats its own puke