this post was submitted on 10 Mar 2025
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NonCredibleDefense

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New storage method just dropped (in the local river) (lemmy.world)
submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 163 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (25 children)

In an alternate reality:

Janitor at university. Found locked military case in river. Coworker says FIM-92 Stinger missile. Heavy. Maybe water, maybe live missile. Call police. Military and EOD arrive. Entire campus locked down. Half of workers taken for questioning. EOD open it -- full of some idiot's clothes and books.

New grudge unlocked.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago (21 children)

Imagine if it was full of adult toys. That would be something to talk about.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

Ownership of dildos must be normalized. In fact, I want to propose making mandatory to receive one upon becoming of legal age at your country of birth. Upon entering a new job? Complementary dildo. Entering the military? Camouflage pattern, G.I. Dildo. Graduating? Dildo. College? Dildo. Masters? XL Dildo. Doctorate? Epic Dildo. Getting engaged? Matching dildos.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

Camouflage pattern, G.I. Dildo

G.I. Diljoe?

Masters? XL Dildo.

The Green Jack-It

College?

Magnum Cum Louder

Doctorate

The Cocktorate

[–] [email protected] 3 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I like how your mind works.

Are we starting a product line?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

You made me realize being a professional double-entendre creator might be my dream job.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 17 hours ago

Start issuing fan cards and I'll be your number one.

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