this post was submitted on 30 Jul 2023
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I am stupid and needy. Too strong, too weak. Never right, always wrong. I cannot keep friends, lost a bunch with my ex, when I broke up with ex, when I changed jobs, when I lost my job. I'm so dumb to ever think I could be anyones mate. I am so so dumb. I'm alone because I am damaged goods, and don't know how to exist anymore. I think I try, but I just make others feel weird and uncomfortable.
Too self-deprecating, too full of self-loathing, with no self-esteem. And here I am making it all about me again. I try to be kind and giving and thoughtful, but I'm just a cunt and they all know it.
I should have been fucking aborted, this life of mine is hell. This brain is broken. This brain is being a stupid cunt on here and everywhere. I hate the space I take up in the universe.
Done.
Hey mate, hang in there. I had a much longer reply lined up, but you need to know right now that you're not stupid, nor a cunt.
agree
she's lovely and smart
I happen to think you are a very intelligent, kind and talented person.
Hope you're just having a moment there and that the bad thoughts don't hang around for long. You're worthy, you're not dumb, and your ability to write poetry the way you do is an enviable talent.
hey
You know, I was thinking after your last pome that in years past I would have changed places with you in a heartbeat. You have your liebe . That counts for everything.
I’m really sorry. On the subject of damage though have you ever considered that those around you might have been the cunts? It’s worth considering.
Thanks for being so raw and vunerable, this takes serious courage and self-awareness. I am sorry for whatever happened and hope you can heal from some of it in time.
I think you are valid and loved. I don't have many friends either. I was either too much or I ditched them due to finally finding the personal strength to establish boundaries and enforce them. I challenge the notion that you're stupid, you seem far too caring and understanding.
For what it's worth I think we would and could be friends in real life.