Transfem

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A community for transfeminine people and experiences.

This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.

Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.

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This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.

Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.

Some helpful links:

The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.

Support Hotlines:

The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.

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Reluctant Detransition (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 1 day ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

16 comments fedilink hide all child comments

I’m curious how other folks have managed life after detransition. Due to mental health stuff (ended up in “grippysock jail” over half a dozen times) and later losing health insurance, I detransitioned some years ago. Semi-recently I went back on hormones, got an orchiectomy (which eased bottom dysphoria considerably), and now find myself stuck somewhere in the middle. I present as male exclusively.

I get that some people may wish to perform gender along the lines of what I’m describing, and that’s totally valid but it is not the case for me. I find the current state of affairs incredibly frustrating: I would like to be perceived as a woman. Or at least part of me does - another part doesn’t care and is waiting until I can become an hero and end the whole sordid business. In either case, presenting as female poses significant challenges, and I’m too depressed and discouraged to even try to surmount them. Even when I was more functional and had the pecuniary advantage of an allowance, it was very clear that no matter how well I honed the art of “presenting” as female, I would probably never pass.

So, to restate the question, how do people deal with the fact that (as those in some quarters of the internet put it) “you will never be a real girl”?

(and incidentally, should anyone be concerned, I'm safe and currently under psychiatric care)

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 14 hours ago* (last edited 14 hours ago) (1 children)

Not a detransitioner specifically, but I am stuck in the closet for the forseeable future, so we might have some things in common 🥲

While I am not exactly a shining example of happiness and success, I have at least managed not to die by my own hand so far, which is not nothing, I guess.

There are basically two things that keep me going:

As long as I'm still here, I can fight.

The systems that keep me in the closet do not just oppress me, they oppress most of the world. Which means that there will always be people to fight alongside. Even if trans liberation isn't their direct goal. Even if I have to hide my transness from them.

I may never become who I'm meant to be. But that doesn't mean there aren't still things worth doing. Everything counts.

I still have hope.

Consider that people during the Cold War lived in very justified fear of global nuclear armageddon. If I had lived through those times, I would never have believed that despite decades of fingers hovering over self-destruct buttons, the world would still survive. And yet, here we are.

I don't know how, but maybe we'll survive this apocalypse. Maybe someday it'll be safe for me to transition. I intend to stick around to find out.

Good luck, and I wish you the best, fellow traveller. I've written on a similar note in another thread, maybe you'll find it helpful: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/21727800/12811429

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 hours ago

fellow traveler

Your post gets at an issue I'm still coming to grips with, namely political consciousness. Owing to upbringing or temperament or whatever, historically I've skewed quite conservative. I could see myself someday becoming a Caitlyn Jenner-style trans woman, and I'm slightly horrified at the prospect.

All I expect out of politicians is to be left the f*ck alone, but both parties seem to fail in this regard. Republicans would like to legislate us out of existence, while Democrats are glad to use us as political props.

Basically I hope to disentangle my trans-ness from politics. They say "the personal is political," but I don't believe it.