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Yeah calling other people eggs I don't think is ever a good idea, since like you mentioned, whatever someone's gender is, they are valid, and it is entirely their own decision. I don't entirely agree with the person you replied to because being a femboy is perfectly valid and not at all a "terrible fate," although as someone who calls their past self an egg, I sympathize with them to a degree because I feel like I can't call my own self an egg. Idk, maybe a new word is needed because of the toxicity associated with the word egg, but I'm unsure that that would actually fix anything.
I think the problem of egg culture is a deeper issue, it stems from the idea that one can make another person come out, or that a person's identity can be "known" by others, even against that person's identification. That last part is where the problem stems, "against that person's identification". Until and unless we can get over the idea that one can go against the way a person currently identifies, any new term we come up with to replace egg has the potential to be misused and abused in the same way.
I understand that people can be in denial and that people can change their minds over time, but that is part of the process. The best one can do is to offer support and discuss the idea of gender to someone who might not understand. Without outright telling them they are wrong or that what they're doing isn't normal. Some people might say that that isn't enough and that some people need force. But it's their choice, and their life. If someone doesn't want to open their mind or identify differently they have every right to dig in their heels. The idea they don't is where and when it becomes toxic and where and when it largely stops being affirming.
TL;DR A new term could help, but we have to get over and cease the current pushiness, or it too will become corrupted and abused in the same ways "egg" is.
I fully agree with you here. Maybe it would be better to try to make it clear that egg is only for self referential use, unless the word egg is too corrupted to fix, in which case a new term is probably needed.
I'm not entirely sure if it is, it might be, but it also might be fine. It might just be a matter of changing people's hearts and minds to think differently and use the word correctly. Which is why I think it's better to try and make it clear it's self-reference only, and that policing and labeling others is not tolerated.
Unfortunately the internet has a tendency to do whatever it wants with words, especially neologisms.