this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2025
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[–] jballs 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Alien: Greetings, human. I am Zorkon of the Galaxotron Empire. We have come to conquer your planet and enslave humanity. Bow before our superior might!

Human: [laughs] Oh, Zorkon, you crack me up! Conquer us? Enslave us? Ha! That’s a good one.

Alien: I don’t understand. Why are you laughing? This is a serious invasion!

Human: Oh, I get it. But really, your timing couldn’t be worse. We’re already dealing with wildfires, melting ice caps, never-ending politics, and—have you seen our to-do lists? They’re terrifying!

Alien: But we have advanced technology! We will strip your planet of its natural resources!

Human: Strip our planet of natural resources? Newsflash, we’ve been doing that ourselves. Timber, oil, coal—you name it!

Alien: We will poison your water and pollute your air!

Human: Poison our water? Pollute our air? Ever heard of industrial waste and smog? We've got that covered, thanks.

Alien: We will make you work until you are old and frail!

Human: Make us work till we’re old? We call that ‘retirement age’ around here. By then, we're barely standing anyway.

Alien: Our rule will be harsh! You will live in fear and despair!

Human: Fear and despair? Welcome to the 21st century, Zorkon. We’ve been binge-watching those since 2016. Honestly, if you’re here to conquer, you might want to bring a sense of humor. You’re gonna need it!

Alien: [confused] Perhaps we should have researched this planet a bit more...

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)