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this post was submitted on 25 Jan 2025
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The other day, I cracked open a tote of some high school papers and keepsakes that I haven't laid eyes on in 15 years. Found a notebook inside where I wrote these yearly journal entries of big takeaways and thoughts I had each NYE starting as a freshman.
What I wrote as a freshman at 14, right down to my exact handwriting, I could have written yesterday. What really hit me was how well I had summarized my entire psyche in wide-ass crayola marker. Like shit, I couldn't have said it more succinctly myself, self.
Are we indeed the same people we were in those "Stand by Me" years and the added baggage of aging and externally changing has only served to complicate us, to easily confuse ourselves with what we do? Is continually adding to the sum total of our lived experiences even helpful if some of us have already lost ourselves to a heap of internalized hardship?
But who am I now if I am not also what I have lived?
...
Yeah im all good here just another civilian casualty of shock and awe ruminating the night away ๐๐๐
Do you ever feel like aging is socially isolating? When I was 18 I could chat with literally anyone and it was almost always well received. But the older I get, the more socially isolated I am starting to feel. It feels like younger people want nothing to do with people older than them, even at places like climbing gyms... Which I understand, but it still makes me a little sad. I am not expecting to be good friends with any of them, but being able to chat and be friendly with other adults makes life less depressing.
I think the lack of shared culture is also making life far more socially isolating. When I meet people my own age at a social event, it is becoming harder and harder to chat with them. I don't watch sports, I don't keep up with the latest movies, and I hate consumerism. My dream is to live in a car free community with a social democracy. I love learning, urbanism and socialism. But there is scarcely anyone my age in any of the local socialist organizations....