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The girlfriend-zone rule (lemmy.world)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago (2 children)

if I share interests with a woman and we’re both single and I’m attracted to her why would I not want to ask her to be my gf?

would not drop a relationship if she turned me down but would prioritize any future gf over her, same with a dude barring a massive discrepancy in years known

I have seen this play out first hand and the woman friend then got jealous of the new gf lmao, personal experience says women still want to be your focus even when just ‘friends’

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

if I share interests with a woman and we’re both single and I’m attracted to her why would I not want to ask her to be my gf?

Any number of reasons. Most of my female friends I've realized full-well that we simply wouldn't make a good couple from the start. But I love them dearly as my friends.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

handwave the attracted part to mean good fit and not just sexually appealing

so the greeks break down friendship into a number of groups and most women I’ve met that became friends have been ‘fellow voyagers’ so not much shared interest keeping long standing ties

so assume limited time in your life, what exactly do you do with these dearly loved women that don’t make relationship material? do you share hobbies?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

so assume limited time in your life, what exactly do you do with these dearly loved women that don’t make relationship material? do you share hobbies?

Yes, that's what I do with most of my friends?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

then it doesn’t really matter what gender imo

so yea what hobbies are these exactly that you’ve made multiple life long friendships over?

how much time do you spend with them weekly? how does your significant other feel about this, this can be a problem with even straight guy friends

I’m really curious about specifics because it’s never as simple as your posts play it out to be

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

then it doesn’t really matter what gender imo

I mean... yes. That's kind of the point of friendship, I suppose?

so yea what hobbies are these exactly that you’ve made multiple life long friendships over?

Philosophy, art, games, history, politics.

how much time do you spend with them weekly?

Used to be every weekend, and often several weekdays too. Unfortunately, the past two years my living situation has been in flux, and I haven't been near enough to my friends to have that regular time with them.

how does your significant other feel about this, this can be a problem with even straight guy friends

Single atm, but I've never had a problem because I've never dated anyone who wanted me to prune my socialization for her.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

not to be mean but that reads like ‘fellow voyagers’, it’s a lot of work to keep close when apart like that

I had a few female friends like that in college, it ended poorly but they were solid friends, it gets harder when people start having kids and such especially across different states (people say this, it was this way for me, ymmv)