this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
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There's a big problem with the "women message first" gimmick, and it's that they just don't.
If they don't simply let the match expire, you either get a shitty Gif, or something along the lines of "hey."
Maybe one in ten will actually send a message that genuinely starts a conversation.
That ratio was much higher for me. I'd say about 70% sent a message. Probably work on the profile, make it more interesting? If that is now really gone I'm not sure whether I ever install that App anymore, it was nice not having to come up with first messages with questionable outcome...
Maybe it's you guys, but I never really had this issue.
it would work better if it was "women swipe first'. men can look at and swipe the women who swiped them already. this solves two problems:
please give me 1 million dollars
That's the premium feature in pretty much every dating app. You get to see who likes you but you have to pay the money to find out if anyone swiped on you at all.
They imply that lots of people swiped on you but you don't actually know until after you've given the money.
So basically your plan is to just remove the con part which I'm all in favor of.
thanks
Facebook dating kinda has this where you get notified if someone likes you Ironically it works better than any other dating app. The whole swipe til you both match deal is just to keep people paying and using the app for longer
This means men will see many fewer women on the platform in many cases.
it means men would not spend hours on the app, which means nobody would ever do this
Who wants men spending hours on the app and why? Most of these are subscription-based, not ad-supported.
Sure, but you've got to build that habit of checking the app. Gotta lure people back for more little hits of dopamine. The men aren't going to subscribe (or at least stay subscribed) if they aren't getting that illusion of lots of options for people to date.
Exactly, Im 50 and Im not rich or particularly good looking. If I was straight I might only see 5 or 6 women on the app that would match with me to begin with and if those didn't become anything I'd be done with that app. It can't work
Would you rather see 5 or 6 women that all expressed interest in you or a thousand women who have never and probably will never even see you? Open the app, swipe 5 or 6 times, move on with your life.
This is very well put.
As someone who has spent a stupid amount of time browsing Tinder for shits & giggles, I'm not sure I wouldn't want that. But then again I'm gay and things work way differently for us. If I swipe right, it's very likely we match and then have a boring convo that goes nowhere. Maybe I suck at it but I never have any luck despite everything.
You're gonna have a boring convo on a chat app with a random stranger. You're both interested in each other, just ask to meet up. Do something interesting together and the conversation will flow naturally.
i am the most attractive sexy man in my entire giant city of 23 million people but i still have to swipe 50 girls to get 1 match and i might not even be that interested in her. better to meet girls in real life and follow them around on the tube and insert myself into their personal space 🚀
So same result as when men message first.
Might just be my experience, but men put in more effort. Probably because women are more desirable so they don't really need to.
I literally saw so many profiles being like “I don’t message first”, like do you even understand what the app you’ve signed up for is?
I always wondered if they realised we actually can't send the first message.
Well, men CAN message first, as of like 8 months ago.
Great, so I can just use any other dating app now, and don't need Bumble anymore? What kind of genius move it is to kill the signature feature. But oh well the person responsible already left...
I loved bumble when I was on it 🤷♂️ much, much higher hit rate than any other app
I have by far more luck getting matches on tinder