Relationship Advice
Welcome to the Relationship Advice community on Lemmy and Kbin!
The ideal place to ask for help with your relationships: romantic, friendships, we don't know what we are yet, co-workers or just human interactions in general.
Please make sure you read our rules before posting.
Rules:
Rules can be clicked on to be expanded.
1: Treat all users with respect. [!]
The goal of this community is helping OP and readers, not making fun of them. We are an inclusive community, any sort of disrespect towards ethnicity, sexual orientation, religion, etc, will not be tolerated.
2: Mark sexual content as NSFW. [!]
Posts containing mentions or descriptions of sexual topics must be tagged as NSFW. This includes descriptions of sexual acts, requests for advice in the bedroom, explicit descriptions of your body and similar content.
3: All posts must be a request for advice.
All posts must be phrased as a request for advice or as a question. Sharing of stories, personal anecdotes, or past mistakes are only allowed if they're followed by a clear and relevant request for advice with the situation.
4: Provide sufficient and relevant information.
Your title and body need to contain enough information relevant to your situation, such as ages, genders, and the relationship between people mentioned. For privacy-related concerns, we recommend using fake names and broad general locations.
5: Comments must be on topic and relevant to OP.
Comments must be directly related to helping OP, asking for more information, providing relevant resources or otherwise relevant to the thread. Off-topic comments and remarks, suspicious attempts at gathering personal data from OP or other readers, or bullying will not be tolerated.
6: This is a community for requesting advice, not moral judgement.
Moral judgements, "AITA?" and other similar questions are better served by different communities.
Reddit reposts are allowed.
As a temporary measure and the result of a poll, Reddit reposts are allowed following an expanded set of rules: https://lemmy.world/post/317115
How are rules enforced and bans applied?
For the most part, this community operates under the assumption that users are acting in good faith and should be given second-chances for their mistakes. Posts and comments with very light rule violations, or otherwise undesired but mostly harmless content, can be removed by a moderator on a case by case basis without any further punitive actions.
For violations of our rules, we follow a “3 strike” system as follows:
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1st violation: 72 hours ban + moderator warning via PMs.
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2nd violation: 1 week ~ 1 month ban + final warning via PMs.
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3rd violation: 1 month ~ permanent ban.
The goal of this system is making sure users are made aware of their behavior before being permanently banned, but also protecting the community from any rule violations.
Exceptions:
While the “3 strike” system will be applied to the majority of situations, rules marked with a [!] in the sidebar signifies a rule that, if violated in an intentional, malicious or significant way, can warrant an immediate permanent ban regardless of the number of previous violations. This includes severe disrespect to users or groups, dangerous content, and similar.
Related communities:
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Adulting: [email protected]
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No Stupid Questions: [email protected]
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Mental Health [email protected]
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When I was younger, I put up with a lot of bullshit because I thought it was normal. "Obviously, this person likes me, because they say so. Also I like them, so it will be fine."
But look at what his actions are saying. He's not including you on a list of people he's grateful for? The first you learn he's dating another woman is from reading something he posted, instead of him telling you directly?
What do you want in a guy (or gal or any partner)? Someone loyal to you, someone that makes you feel special, someone that respects you. That should be the minimum. You can add some bonuses later, like having shared hobbies. (And these addons can change, especially since you're young.) Will you find this person if you're wasting your time on people that don't pass this low bar?
I'll tell you about this man I dated when I was young. He seemed a bit interested in me, but never talked about me publicly. He had this female friend that he hung out with, a lot. To the point he would ignore me to talk to her. It made me feel like I wasn't good enough. But I stuck around and tried for months to convince him to want me. And it worked! For a while... Until he snuck around on me again. And again. I finally wised up and threw the whole man away. I got with so many duds after that guy, but those experiences made me learn what to look for until I ended up with my current partner. (Together for the better part of a decade!)
If I were you, I'd dump this guy. Take a little time to heal if needed. Focus on your hobbies and hanging out with friends. People living their lives have a much better chance of finding a date, if that's something you're interested in.